Day 15

Words by itself has no intrinsic power. When used efficiently (or without tact) it could do one too many things. Sometimes good mostly bad.

That’s why I gladly immerse in his silence. A gaze that lasts a mere second was enough to start a spark and build fire. His smile that I caught in a reflection stills my heart.

Then again, the image is distorted. It may just as well look and sound better in my head. I don’t want to do anything about it. This time, I sit this one out.

For now.
I’ll get away.
I’ll get lost.
For a moment, it’s not such a bad idea.

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Mondays are fine. It’s me who’s not.

I’ve been given one of three things I’ve asked for, apprehension is starting to brew. Two days isn’t enough to rearrange the routine I’ve doggedly followed for three months. I could’ve sworn it has nothing to do with my new schedule. More like what comes with it. I’d get to attend morning classes. I’d get to renew all paperworks that needed done before November. I’d get to feel the warmth of sunrise on my face. I’d get to linger a little longer than usual. The latter has a tinge of trouble in it, yes?

But don’t I long for trouble. Reminds me of the time when I roam the streets at night looking for it. Things have changed. It is a decision I’ve made since I decided to leave everything behind 8 years ago. Let everything go 3 years later. I’ve come so far. Far enough to realize the difference. If Jamie and Jane could see me now I wonder if they’d still love me. It’s not that I’ve become another person entirely. I have just learned to let different versions of my self take over me whenever I desire. And as of late my desires has become more and more intrepid. There will be no dearth of possibilities in the days ahead.

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